September 14th

*** Thoughts and opinions very subject to change

I can’t believe September is half way over already. Yikes. Sheesh. Dope. Old. There’s only so much time we have on this planet, wow. There’s so much to do and so little time, but sometimes I find myself doing absolutely nothing. Why is this? Idk, time for some brain vomit… get ready.

Back in high school and college days, there was school and sport for me to do. During the times when I wasn’t doing school or baseball shhtuff, I would proceed to do nothing. Now I don’t have anything wrong with leisure, general unproductivity, or goofing off with friends. In fact, I think such moments are crucial for life. In school, a curriculum and schedule were given to me. The moments that were not dictated by a schedule during these times were filled with mindless activity. Again, I think these mindless activities do add value to your life if you truly enjoy them or perhaps if the activity fosters community or whatever. But what I realize now is that it’s tough to do any real thinking, creating, or self-improvement when a schedule or curriculum is given to you, when something or someone is dictating how you spend your time.

I started thinking about this again because I just got done with another fridge grind. The fridge grind requires time. This fridge grind was just about my favorite. Somehow, I got all the boys out to hang out and fridge. We even dawn patrolled a couple days before fridgin. My mind was at ease and I was just fridgin, not thinking about the other things I could be doing. An evening after fridging consisted of nothing but mindless activities. I had no urge to be creative or do much. Is this because I am undisciplined? Maybe. To some extent, most likely. But I don’t think that is the whole story. I think of people who have normal jobs and I just can’t grasp it. Ya I’m a millenial, but gosh that’s gotta hurt going to a job where you’re not working towards mastery of a specific skill. Maybe that’s the word right there. Mastery. When I was playing ball in college, I put in solid work to become the best ball player I could be. I worked hard, put in extra hours, and grinded. For what? Nothing. I didn’t have scholarship the first couple years. I rode that pine. But I worked towards mastery, and at night I would sleep well (if I did'n’t have hours of hw.) I did not work very hard towards mastery of any school subject. School was basically a means for me to have fun playing ball and make new friends.

We live in a strange time now with the internet. If one has a curiosity, he or she could hop on and go down the rabbit hole learning just about everything there is to know about anything. The internet opens up so much opportunity for so many people. Just about anybody anywhere can LEARNNNN. But here’s my thought. I think that learning may be severely hindered by curriculum. I’ve had great teachers and poor teachers in my life. The great one’s seemed to have sparked my interest in topics, that I generally had no interest in. Poor teachers well.. they stole my time. Good teacher or bad teacher, I still think curriculum (aka a structured way to learn dictated by someone other than yourself) could be a human potential limiter. It may be so because completing tasks for work or school tasks takes energy. The energy that is zapped from you in order for you to do somebody else’s bidding, ain’t coming back. The time is lost in the vortex, and you are left feeling slightly accomplished, yet tired. Off to Netflix, some booze, or whatever your vice is.

My friend Dick Picard would take apart vacuums in his spare time in the first grade. This fool was incredibly smart and sucked soooo bad at english class. This took so much of this genius’s time, and that’s kind of a bummer. Might’ve done something bad to his psyche too. Update.. He works with NASA.

But then I think I gotta look at the big picture. Is it because I’m educated that I am having these thoughts. Is it because I think I deserve, want, and can attain the moon in this life? Like what’s going on here. I’m trying to think outside the bubble. The bubble brings safety, security, and self-destruction, because where is the time for self-improvement and actual thinking.

*** Thoughts and opinions very subject to change